


On the Unexpected Romantical Effectiveness of Thermo-Dynamically Underperforming Metatarsals

by LadyChi



Category: Bones (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-09
Updated: 2010-08-09
Packaged: 2017-10-25 18:56:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/273635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyChi/pseuds/LadyChi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It begins with cold feet. It ends with sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Unexpected Romantical Effectiveness of Thermo-Dynamically Underperforming Metatarsals

“Jesus, Bones!”

“What?”

“Your feet are cold, that's what. Why're you sticking them between my thighs, anyway?”

“Because they're cold.”

“You're just a little close to the goods there, Bones. Cold temperatures aren't good for the family jewels.”

“Short amounts of exposure to a reduced temperature will not harm your testicles, Booth.”

“...”

“What? What did I say now?”

“You're being rather glib about my... boys.”

“Testicles, Booth.”

“Jesus, Bones...”

“Would you rather I call them your balls?”

“Ha! Sure. Why the hell not?”

“I can be very colloquial in appropriate situations, Booth.”

“I am not having this conversation with you. I have died and gone to hell. And as punishment, I have to imagine that I am having this conversation with you.”

“I am extremely familiar with most of the accepted alternative terms for the more sexual body parts. Balls, cock...”

“Whoa! Whoa! Bones, I don't need a demonstration, okay? I believe you.”

“Booth?”

“What?”

“Do you mind scooting back?”

“Why?”

“Your erection is pressing into my back. It is... uncomfortable.”

“Ha! I have an erection and _you_ find it uncomfortable. Story of my freaking life.”

“I wouldn't be embarrassed, Booth. It's a normal physiological reaction to...”

“To talking about sex, Bones. In bed. With you.”

“Yes, exactly. And it's not like I've never aroused you before.”

“What?”

“I have observed that, occasionally, I arouse you.”

“Observed? Occasionally? What?”

“You are a breast man. You like when my shirts are low-cut so you can look out of the corner of your eye.”

“Yep. Definitely in hell.”

“I wouldn't worry about it, Booth. I, for one, find it extremely attractive when you wear a shoulder holster.”

“What is it with you and guns?”

“Sweets would say it has to do with phallic power.”

“Well, Sweets is full of crap.”

“I find the fact that you carry a gun occasionally arousing. I do not want to analyze myself to find out why.”

“Then there's two of us who don't want that.”

…

…

“Booth?”

“What?”

“I'm sorry. I don't normally make mistakes like this...”

“Not your fault the hotel lost the reservation, all right? We're here in... Podunk Iowa, or wherever. It's not like anyone's going to know we shared a bed.”

“Following that logic, we could take advantage of the situation.”

“What? No. Bones, come on. You know....”

“No, I know.”  
...

“But it's a nice thought, isn't it, Booth?”

“What? Making love to you? Yeah. It's a hell of a nice thought.”

“Do you think about it a lot? What might have happened if we hadn't drunk too much tequila and I hadn't gotten in that cab?”

“I dream about it sometimes.”

“Really?”

“In Technicolor. With surround sound. In 3-D, even.”

“I think about it. I have come to the conclusion that it would have been really good sex, Booth. Really good.”

“Are you kidding, Bones? It would have blown your mind.”

“Are you implying that you would have, in some way, surpassed me as a sexual partner?”

“I'm just saying, Bones. I would have shown you how it's done.”

“I should not find this conversation arousing. I should find it condescending.”

“But you're turned on.”

“If you mean sexually aroused, then yes, yes I am.”

“Turned on, Bones. Say it. Say 'I'm turned on, Booth'.”

“I'm turned on, Booth.”

…

“Why are you moaning? You asked me to say it.”

“You know why? Cause I'm a masochist, that's why.”

“There's nothing wrong with mixing controlled pain and sexuality. In fact, in certain circumstances, it can be... extremely arousing.”

“Christ. Bones. Just... stop talking.”

“Why? Are you hard, Booth?”

“You know I am. You can feel it, since that's your – shit. Bones, that's your hand. On my cock.”

“Cock. I've always thought that was a fun word to roll around in my mouth. Do you know what else I like to roll around in my mouth?”

“Urghinuff.”

“What was that?”

“Either talk or suck my cock, Bones. Don't go back and forth. You'll kill me.”

“Then expect a little radio silence, Booth.”

“Radio – what? Christ. Oh, shit. Shit. Okay. Fuck. Just like that... oh, baby. Bones, you've really got a... oh my fucking God. That's your... shit. Throat. Okay.”

“I would like to have intercourse with you, Booth.”

“There's no brain in my blood. I mean, blood in my brain. Bones, did you just...”

“I'd like for you to fuck me. Preferably until I scream.”

“I....”

“I would like for you to convince me that the laws of physics may be wrong.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Yes.”

“And in the morning?”

“What?”

“We go back to being Booth and Bones, like it never happened?”

“No. Of course it will have happened. We will adjust our relationship accordingly.”

“My head's spinning. Which, okay. Fuck. May have to do with the – Christ. Suction in your fucking mouth. Really can't think here, Bones.”

“I can use my hand while I convince you this is a good idea.”

“I do not object to that at all.”

“The evidence suggests I can change, Booth. I have changed up until now. I am not the same woman I was before. And... Angela says...”

“Angela says what?”

“She says that maybe the next woman will be the one that makes a difference. The one that convinces you not to stop by with midnight Chinese or post-case Scotch.”

“What? Bones, listen, I'm always gonna...”

“And I just think that we should continue those things. Because they are good things, Booth. We should just... expand our repertoire a little.”

“Is that what you call what you're doing with your hand?”

“No, I believe this is called pumping.”

“Ugh, Bones. If you want to... I mean, if you really want – Christ. I'm like a fucking teenager. You're going to have to slow down. Come up here, baby. Let me kiss you.”

…

“You taste like you this time, Booth.”

“What?”

“You don't taste like my gum, or tequila. You taste like Booth.”

“Good?”

“Extremely.”

…

…

…

…

“Well. That was...”

“Extremely satisfying. Verging on mind-blowing.”

“What? Come on, Bones. Your mind is blown.”

“I am able to form coherent sentences.”

“You know, Bones, I'm not a young man anymore.”

“I can wait, if it's going to take you a... oh. Oh. Well. God, Booth...”

…

…  
…

…

“Now your mind is blown.”

“Hm, what?”

“See. I blew your mind. Genius-brain, blown to smithereens, by Seeley Joseph Booth.”

“There's no need to be insufferable about it.”

“I wonder if they give out merit badges for this...”

…

…

…

“Good morning.”

“Morning. Oh, we're starting off the day with kisses now, are we?”

“I understand that's one of the benefits of a committed relationship.”

“Oh, Bones. That's one of many. Stick with me, babe. You haven't even begun to contemplate all the benefits.” 


End file.
